This is My Story
by Stavi
Summary: ZabuHaku. This is one poem talking about Haku's life and that fateful day at the bridge. Yaoi.
1. Born to be Used

Opening: Not a SasuNaru. Thought I should tell you ahead of time. This is spoken in Haku's POV and the 'you' is Zabuza.

Warning: Yaoi. Character death, but it's in the main story line of the actual anime so it shouldn't be a surprise. Lol.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and that shouldn't be a surprise either.

---

String by string

I'm unweaving

Lost all hope

But still believing

I was alone. So hellishly alone. My father was left in the dark and my mother couldn't look me in the eyes without crying. Once he knew what I was and what my mother was, my father killed my mother and tried to kill me too.

I've lost control

Of my own damned soul

And now manipulated

To do what I'm told

I killed him before he had the chance to kill me and then I ran. My eyes were dull and I was cruel to things as I tried to survive on garbage. I felt the true pain. The pain of being utterly alone and not needed by anything in this world. And I lived like that until I met a man who wanted my power. He wanted what everyone feared. I thought that, if that was the closest thing to love I could get and if I could be needed by one person, I would take it.

_And so I left one hell for another._

_---_

Nomi: This is a continuing poem I wrote especially for The Haku and Zabuza experience. Every chapter is part of one big poem. I won't write these mini-talkie-things on all of them cause I wrote this in one night.

Mol: Okay!

Both: Ja! Please read on…


	2. Being a Puppet

I'm buried deep beneath your sickness

Listening to all your rotten games

Wrapped around your finger

Taking out all your words and names

I did his bidding without complaints because I was given what I needed to stay alive and he was given what he needed to feel alive. Together we balanced each other out.

I don't want to see the evil

Putting poison in their skin

Shield my eyes from darkness

Lose yourself within my sin

This wasn't a life I wanted to live, because this life took away other people's dreams to keep my own. But I gave myself to him, to do with as he wished so I suppose he lost control when he realized how loyal I was to him.

Nobody will tame this animal instinct

Lost in a world of false forgiving

A broken doll from the start

I am the dead among the living

I didn't have a choice. I was basically a puppet for this man that had shown me the closest thing to love. It became second nature to give up everything for him. I stuck with him when he was chased by Anbu and I backed him up when he got himself in a bad situation. There was nothing I wouldn't do and I eventually developed strong feelings for him.

And there was nothing I could do.


	3. I Know You

I see the wild passion

Lying dormant in your eyes

And I'll reach out to touch

But pushed away in fright

I can see what he wanted and this isn't it. He wanted to be free of everything he'd ever done, but his debt grew by the day and then he couldn't stop. He thought that, to be free he'd have to kill all those in his way. I know that, that's probably true now, because he'd killed so many that there was no turning back.

You don't want to lose

What you've worked so hard to gain

And even if it hurts

You'll endure the pain

He worked hard to get to the level of security to be able to sleep at night. And in order to lift his heavy heart he'd need to lose that security and literally search for his death. It hurt him to do this, just as much as it hurt me. And it killed me to do this.

Because this is all you've known

And I've done all I can

To save you from yourself

And give you all I am

I tried to fight as much as I could so that I could keep the blood off of his hands. If he was the only one to fight he would've lost hid mind with the guilt I know was there.

But I never lose faith

Not in one day

I believe in your resolve

To stand up against your fate

I wouldn't give up on him because that would mean that hope in everything I've done was all for not. I knew that he would see the light one day.

And that day was both beautiful and horrific at once.


	4. The Beautifully Sad Day

So I will stand beside you

Even if it blinds my eyes

To watch you kill to live

And give myself as sacrifice

As I fought the young blonde, I found that I was weaker than him and my purpose was lost, my dream was shattered and I asked for my life to be taken. He looked at me incredulously and he protested. He didn't want to kill someone unnecessarily and I tried to convince him that he should get revenge on me for killing his precious person. Then I saw him, my precious person, about to receive a fatal blow and as the boy was about to give me my last request I ran to him and shielded his body.

So I've done so today

And I have lost my life

Protecting your innocence

From the evils of your knife

The mist cleared enough to see me standing in the path of the attack, my eyes were open and I was smiling because I died protecting the person I loved. He went on fighting until Gato showed up.

But all I've tried to stand for

Has all gone up in smoke

As the little one with precious people

Opened his mouth and spoke

Gato kicked my corpse and my precious person didn't flinch and the little blonde boy went berserk.

'He loved you', He said

He talked about my shattered dreams

'Dying as a tool is just too painful'

He shuts his mouth after he screams

He stood up for my dreams and yelled at him for not caring. He went silent as he saw small droplets falling from my loves eyes.

The man I loved then started to cry

'Kid don't say anymore'

He said how it hurt me to fight them

And how my heart was too pure

He finally showed what he was hiding inside. He saw the light. He told the boy about me and how killing was far from my intent. Then he said that he was glad that Kakashi and the boy were his final opponents.

His back was broad as he walked away from the darkness.


	5. To Hell for Revenge

He ripped off his mask

And thanked the kid for his last fight

Barrowing a kunai

He battled with all his might

He went into the crowd of Gato's minions to avenge my death even though it was my choice to die to protect him. The thought of him disrespecting my corpse was what drove him, this was all he could think to do to thank me for what I did.

As they 'baby demon' fought

Against all odds he stood

Taking deeper wounds

Than any mortal could

The numbers fell as he attacked to get to his target. Swords were jabbed into his back but it didn't stop him as he pushed forward. This was for me and it was heart warming and breaking at the same time.

His thirst for revenge was so strong

It was impossible to quell

He said, 'Let's see if I'm a baby demon

In the fiery pits of Hell'

He slashed Gato and pushed him back until he fell off of the bridge. It was true in many senses that the bridge would be Gato's downfall.

He gave up his life for revenge for me.


	6. In the End it ALL Matters

You thanked me and asked forgiveness

As you staggered over to me

You saw me in a holy light

That would never come to be

He walked toward me and saw a vision of me. He said it was time to say goodbye and thanked me for what I gave him and apologized for what he took. I wanted to tell him that he never took anything and that I wanted to give him anything he'd need. But I couldn't. I wasn't special, I was just in love.

You fell and did not rise

For the others at your aide

You asked if you could see me

Before you fade away

He fell into a bloody pile with swords sticking out of his back. The silver haired man went to him and he asked if he could see me.

And the masked man carried you

To lay at my side

The snow started to fall

And tears fell from my eyes

The man agreed with his last request and as the man carried him snow started to fall. He asked if I was crying. Yes, I was. The man laid him down beside me.

You want to come with me

To the place above the skies

Your hand had grazed my cheek

And the sun began to shine

As he prays his life force drains away and left with a lingering hope to go to heaven and to be with me and I was so very happy.

You didn't know it then

Until you saw pure white

You came with me

Because your heart sought out the light

He was accepted when he died because he found something that made him feel so light that nothing else mattered in the world except for that thing and that thing was me.

Your eyes started to realize

That you went to heaven too

I hug you to myself

'_I love you'_

He looks at me incredulously until he returns to hug and speaks the words I've waited and died to hear.

'_I love you too.'_

**OWARI!**

Nomi: Yes, I skipped the village's victory because I was focusing on the whole ZabuHaku thing. I just thought I should step away from SasuNaru for once, but don't worry SasuNaru fans I'm still focused on that pairing the most. Lol.

Mol: You'd better be.

Nomi: Of course. SasuNaru-y goodness is what helps me sleep at night.

Mol: Amen.

Both: Ja! R&R Please!


End file.
